My Dear Men folk,
You may know or not know, that your wife, your mother, sister or fiancée struggles to tally with your life bearing a very sensitive question in their minds - to be devoted or not to be is the question.
Are we really allowed to raise our voices against you? Stand against on wrong actions by very many men? And simply are the majority of men ready to come out from the male ego of dominating women?
Yes, many will raise their brows against these questions. One may argue that Sri Lankan women generally enjoy a higher degree of gender equality than many women in other countries in the region.
But is it really true? Yes, only to some extent. Don’t you agree?
In terms of education levels, women holding management positions, women in professions and even in normal social norms, Sri Lankan women enjoy a better position than those in Pakistan, Bangladesh or India. But still the tragic stories of violence against women have been continuously reported in nowadays media.
Of course, the modern generations of men are broader in their views in dealing with women and they have come in to terms with equal rights for women and many men are ready to take woman as a partner not a worker under him.
But there is need to awaken some of them who does not have the modernized overview on women and do believe they are blessed to have their own way with women. Thereupon, I would like them to consider this, in short my purpose of this letter is for them to stop and think and to other who believe in women’s equality to broaden their view on the violence against women.
When I mean violence, there are many actions attached to it. According to UN conventions, ‘violence against women’ takes a dismaying variety of forms, from domestic abuse and rape to child marriages and female circumcision. All are violations of the most fundamental human rights.
The flight of Sri Lankan women in this regard has been named as both a public and private matter in Sri Lanka by the Committee on the Elimination of Discrimination against Women, a body of global experts which monitors whether governments are honouring their commitments to the 1981 United Nations’ Women’s Convention.
That is why it is very important to clarify to those who do not believe on this aspect of gender equality of the meaning of gender and sexuality and the balance of power between women and men at all levels of society.
Therefore, combating violence against women requires challenging the way that gender roles and power relations are articulated in society.
Changing people's attitude and mentality towards women will take a long time - at least a generation many believe, and perhaps longer. Nevertheless, I personally believe that awaking men against their own short comings, (sometimes committed unknowingly) might add some importance to an issue which is larger than what can be expressed through words.
Let us take a closer look at the Article 2 of the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW), to comprehend more on what it suggests as violence against women.
"pursue by all means and without delay a policy of eliminating discrimination against women" "refrain from engaging in any act or practice of discrimination against women and to ensure that public authorities and institutions shall act in conformity with this obligation" and "take all appropriate measures including legislation, to modify or abolish existing laws, regulations, customs and practices which constitute discrimination against women." These are some of the obligations against the violations against women suggested to be referred by the authorities.
Sri Lanka as signatory to the CEDAW is obliged to ensure that the rights of women are protected and promoted. Yet, a study of the national legal framework clearly highlights that "the law" continues to discriminate against women in many aspects.
Where violence against women is concerned the lack of specific domestic violence legislation and the law on rape which leaves unprotected certain groups are just some of the legal provisions which need to be repealed.
This is a major reason which leads me to raise the questions in the beginning of this letter to you all. Well, what are these holes in our legal system?
Domestic violence and the divorce law are some of the main fragments in Sri Lankan legal system which requires tougher laws to prevent the violence faced by women in Sri Lanka.
Down here, there is not specific legislation on domestic violence and the Penal Code too does not criminalize domestic violence. Prosecution of domestic violence therefore has to be undertaken under other general sections such as Section 324-assault or Section 311-causing grievous hurt.
When we consider the domestic violations in Sri Lanka, Many Sinhalese Buddhist and Tamil Hindu women rationalizes their predicament in terms of destiny. Many women do this because, conventionally they are made to believe that a marriage as a private matter; the common perception is that men are superior and their sexual urges indomitable.
That is a major reason that other than changing the legal aspect, a cleansing should be brought up for the general overview of the society.
In her study on violence against women Ameena Hussein has pointed out that the remaining legal provisions are rarely used as social conditions to prevent women from reporting incidents of domestic violence and even when they do, the complaints are not taken seriously by the authorities or informal mediation mechanisms are utilised to settle cases.
Also the effectiveness of any proposed domestic violence legislation will be dependent on amendments to the laws relating to divorce. As the concept of "no fault" divorce does not exist in Sri Lankan law, those seeking divorce have to prove malicious desertion, which has been interpreted to include cruelty, adultery or incurable impotence.
As the definition of constructive malicious desertion has been held also to include spousal abuse, it is possible to use this ground to apply for divorce, but once again the woman carries a heavy burden of proof as she will have to prove she was forced to leave the matrimonial home due to fear of harm to life and limb.
These aspects should really change, since these are some places where women do get a chance to voice against men.Rapes are another fragment of violence against women, of which many Sri Lankan girls under goes and their voices are subdued against the rapist for the fear and the thought that voicing against these issues may lead towards social infamy.
are another fragment of violence against women, of which many Sri Lankan girls under goes and their voices are subdued against the rapist for the fear and the thought that voicing against these issues may lead towards social infamy.
Here is the legal definition as in Section 363 of the Penal Code; as "sexual intercourse with a woman without her consent; or where her consent has been obtained by use of force, threats or intimidation; where she is judicially separated from the man; with her consent when her consent was obtained when she was of unsound mind, in a state of intoxication induced by drugs or alcohol; with her consent when the man knows he is not her husband and she is under the belief that she is married to him; with or without her consent when she is under 16 years except when she is his wife who is over 12 years and not judicially separated from him. There is no need to show evidence of resistance by the victim, penetration is sufficient to establish sexual intercourse."
Yet, there are many instances where the women’s mind is wounded in a way which could never be repaired. Some starts to hate the entire male population, some becomes mentally handicapped and very many drops in to prostitution hence at the aftermath of a rape; the society tends to look down upon the victims.
Many girls suffer from these kinds of mal beliefs of the society over them, mostly at the end people start to look at the victim as if she had done the crime to attract the rapist towards them and these negative egos are highly brought up in the case of entering matrimony.
The girls who were raped are looked down as non virgins and the marriage is always a hard topic for these girls. I have come across many marriage proposal columns in news papers, where to-be- brides seek for ‘waradata samawadena- excusing for past mis-conduct’ grooms.
This situation is pathetic, have we got to condemn ourselves this much for a crime that was not committed by our consent. Ironically, in the modern society, many men do have sexual relationships before they enter marriages, sometimes they may not end up with the girl they had courted, in that means the question is why don’t they ever crave for a bride who will be excusing for past mis-conducts which were done knowingly.
Sometimes, these things are not done by men with the mean of doing so, but they are also going by the trend, that is why programmes should be introduced to educate them on these kinds of social dilemmas. I assume, with the context society, young men do not rely so much on these facts, in that case with board knowledge on these issues, majority of men do have the possibility of changing their overview.
It is highly essential to take steps against this kind of negative beliefs and ban them from our society. On the other hand positive methods should be used to cure the wounds of the terrible experience and introduce the rape victims to a world where they will be able to breath freely, forgetting that once in their lives they were the lure of hungry wolves.
Most rapes are the precedent incidents of sexual harassment. Something which can frequently occur on the street, in the workplace, in educational institutions and on public transportation. At many occasions these kind of sexual harassment ends up with the objected women being forced out of the workplace or school, striking at the heart of women's economic self-sufficiency and disrupting women's earning capacity.
Sexual harassment is a personal attack on women's minds and bodies instilling fear and violating a woman's right to bodily integrity, education and freedom of movement. This is a situation which is commonly practiced by many men in our island nation.
According to the Section 345 of the Penal Code, A person who, by assault or use of criminal force sexually harasses another person or; by the use of words or actions causes sexual annoyance or harassment to another person commits the offence of sexual harassment. The explanation to the section states that unwelcome advances by words or actions used by a person in authority, in a workplace or any other place shall constitute sexual harassment
But the question is, are we allowed to voice ourselves against these? If we do, what would be the out come? Even the definition itself is unclear. It is without guidelines as to what constitutes sexual harassment difficulties might be encountered in determining whether sexual harassment has taken place. It has to be pointed out that the explanation by highlighting actions by a "person in authority" precludes sexual harassment by colleagues and subordinates.
The Constitution provides for equal employment opportunities in the public sector. Yet, we have no legal protection against discrimination in the private sector, where they sometimes are paid less than men for equal work, often experience difficulty in rising to supervisory positions, and face sexual harassment.
This is the time all of us as Sri Lankans should grow up on this issue. We are a country which had the honour of electing the first woman prime minister and the first women president in the world. Still, the plight of the women who were exposed towards the violence against them is still the same as it was in the beginning of the twentieth centaury. We, as women of Sri Lanka who represent a 35.7% of the Sri Lanka labour Force (2006). Do have the right to be treated as our male companions.
Another facture is that, 50.8 % of the Sri Lanka’s population of 19 million populations (2001) is women, excluding North and East. Hence, it is important to introduce better living standards for them.
For their contribution to this world and to you my dear men folk, at the beginning as a mother, then as a sister, a friend, a fiancée, a wife and a daughter, they are the thread of your lives since your birth to death. There is a huge debt to be paid off.
Let us move forward and put a full stop to the long chain of violence against women, let us (the women) get a chance against what happens against us and give one second to consider whether your overview on women is the correct version. It is never too late.
Yours truly,
A woman.

The mostly consummated drugs in Sri Lanka are Cannabis, Heroin and Opium. When considering Cannabi, it is the only drug that grows in Sri Lanka. It is mostly grown in the dry zones of the country in the Eastern and Southern provinces. The estimated land area under cannabis cultivation is 500 hectares.
